The infertile find links to clinics, adoptions and surrogate mothers

01/06/2000

By Doug Bedell / The Dallas Morning News

When a former men's magazine photographer threw open a Web site to auction models' eggs late last year, the nation was aghast.

Millions flocked to the site. Apparently some desperate souls bid $40,000 or more for a chance to have a child with the comely attributes displayed by a handful of Ron Harris' "angels."

Lost in the splash of ink and hand-wringing are the growing number of mainstream infertility resources also moving to the Net. With increasing numbers, sperm and egg donor banks, adoption agencies and surrogate mother services have been using the Internet's powers to help all sorts of people reach for the cradle.

"The Internet has changed the face of infertility," says Shirley Zager, who directs the Organization of Parents Through Surrogacy and whose 12-year-old daughter was born to a surrogate mother. "It puts the whole world of possibilities at your fingertips.

"It's a wonderful place, but it's also a very dangerous place."

Reproductive medicine has become a $2 billion-per-year industry populated by qualified health-care professionals as well as charlatans and hucksters. Online and in the brick-and-mortar world, the latter prey on emotionally vulnerable would-be parents frustrated in their quest to start a family.

"Women will risk their lives to get pregnant," says Cindy Simons Bennett, who runs the adoption and infertility information site Child of My Dreams.

"They don't want babies that are models. They just want to be parents, and they will do anything."

More than 6.1 million American women are infertile, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Worldwide, the World Health Organization says, 50 million to 80 million people experience some form of infertility distress.

The arrival of the Internet has provided instant access to resources often never before considered by many couples in need. Online ads allow immediate contact with women offering to become surrogate mothers. Couples in states with restrictive laws can effortlessly locate services elsewhere. International interest is burgeoning, say owners of several online infertility sites. And, for those who want specific traits in egg donors, pointing and clicking through databases has replaced the onerous task of sifting through stacks of paper profiles.

In the process, onetime skeptics such as Dr. Eric Widra, director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Fertility for the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Georgetown University, are being won over. Since becoming medical adviser to Child of My Dreams, Dr. Widra says he's been heartened by the interaction among patients, services and technology.

"The reality has become that things like Ron's Angels have been in the extreme minority of what is happening on the Internet," he says. "I've found people genuinely share a sense of community about infertility issues."

Breaking down barriers

In his own practice, Dr. Widra has already seen the Internet's hand.

Egg donors are not plentiful in suburban Washington, D.C., for unknown reasons. "But you can get online and find a very reputable site in California where there's an excess of donors," he says.

"Sometimes our patients will connect with these California agencies, then donors will be treated with medications and fly here. Or sometimes our patients will fly there."

Across message boards at the volunteer-run Web site Surrogate Mothers Online, stories of quick, successful transactions abound. Even some couples with very specific, hard-to-match conditions have been amazed by the results.

Charles and Carlo are gay men who for years had talked of starting a family.

"We had no big plans," says Charles, who asked that their surnames and location not be used. "I wondered one night what would happen if I typed the word surrogate into a search engine. I began experimenting, and within five minutes I had the answer."

The men found several would-be surrogate mothers who had posted ads specifically for homosexuals.

"That's the first and only step we took," says Charles. "We thought the gay thing was going to be a real problem. We thought no one would do that for a gay couple."

A first attempt at in vitro fertilization failed. A second with another surrogate mother's eggs took -- big time.

After spending about $40,000 to $50,000 for medical fees and legal work, Charles and Carlo are today frantically preparing for the arrival of triplets.

"Oh, my God," says Charles, "it's pretty much turned our lives upside down. It's scary, sure. But we have no regrets. We knew it could happen. And we're very, very happy."

Not everyone is. Agency owners say they often hear about unethical egg donors who commit to helping multiple families, accept money, then vanish.

Climbing costs

In other cases, couples will pay $6,000 to $10,000 to an agency for arranging egg donor matches. After legal and medical fees, costs can quickly climb to $20,000 or more -- with no assurances of success.

Mrs. Zager of the Organization of Parents Through Surrogacy, or OPTS, says she has noticed couples from New York, Michigan and Utah, in particular, seem to gravitate to her nonprofit site ( www.opts.com) for surrogacy information, recommendations and referrals.

The reason, she says, is that laws in those states make it harder for surrogacy agencies to operate. "You'll see more New Yorkers on the Internet trying to find a place to do an embryo transfer," Mrs. Zager says. "People will find ways. ... The laws and regulations are just making them jump through more hoops."

Colorado-based Creating Families, a center for surrogacy and egg donation, has seen Internet-initiated contacts grow 100 percent in each of the last few years, says agency director Wendy Somers.

Creating Families says it has egg donor profiles from more than 1,500 candidates who have been screened psychologically and physically by certified professionals. Drop-down menus at www.eggdonor.net allow prospective parents to select traits in the donor pool, including eye color, hair texture, stature and skin complexion.

"Before the Internet, we had many fewer egg donors," says Ms. Somers, who was infertile for 10 years before conceiving twins through in vitro fertilization five years ago. "When someone contacted us, we would send them five profiles. That was all they were able to look at. If they didn't like those, we'd send another five. It was very time-consuming and very limiting for them."

New legal and medical information can be immediately disseminated as well, she says. "And if someone were overseas and in very remote locations, they can't get Federal Express, you know," Ms. Somers says. "They might have access to the Internet, and that may be a real tool for them and open up options they otherwise would not have."

Other online resources are available. Chat rooms, subscription e-mail programs and message boards can all be used to answer questions and compare notes with those facing similar obstacles.

Often, those who visit Child of My Dreams for adoption and infertility information find the interactive Internet experience more engaging and liberating than face-to-face support groups. Anonymity can be protected, and moderators can help focus on specific problems facing an assembled group.

Ms. Bennett's site has a staff of 35 volunteers monitoring chats. "We don't just let women sit in a room alone," she says. "I think that's dangerous in some ways because people have tendencies to prescribe for each other and diagnose each other. We make sure that doesn't happen."

Adds Tracy Morris, a social worker in charge of About.com's infertility site (infertility.about.com): "Most people have commented that they don't know anybody in real life in their shoes. We can help them see that's not true. We can create a place where they can share emotions."

Many times, the interaction eases emotions, says Ms. Bennett. "I get e-mails all the time from women who say they feel like all they did was cry. They get into a group with other women going through the experience, and they say they suddenly feel understood. They stop crying, and that's wonderful."

Fears of a backlash

Reproductive specialists worry that online side shows such as Ron's Angels may provoke a backlash. Even as many traditional services are just now coming online, legislation has been introduced in some states that would ban sperm and egg transactions on the Web.

But the reaction to Mr. Harris' Internet enterprise only points up a broader problem, says Ms. Morris.

"Right now, the whole reproductive technology area is totally uncontrolled," she says. "A guy can literally throw up a shingle and claim he's an infertility specialist and do anything he wants."

Citing ethical considerations, the auction site eBay has closed its service to sales of eggs, organs and genetic material. But there is nothing illegal about Web sites such as Ron's Angels. And that has experts worried.

Ms. Somers says she hopes the industry can regulate itself. "Otherwise, what can happen is that one case can blow things apart. And when it does, it's extremely controversial. Things like Ron's Angels provoke negative, knee-jerk reactions."

Shutting down options for people confronting infertility would only make matters worse, Ms. Somers says. "It would simply mean in that state there will be no egg donors. Families will have to go out of state. Doctors will be injured. Who really wins in that case? Nobody."

But Mrs. Zager doubts self-regulation is practical.

"We've developed the tech to have the Internet, but not the mechanism to manage it," she says. "All this is available right now without any controls, and it looks like a Wild West show out there. As a consumer organization, it's quite alarming."

Georgetown University's Dr. Widra says an American Medical Association seal of approval might help couples click their way to reputable sites where their emotions and pocketbooks won't be in jeopardy.

For now, the experts direct those seeking infertility information on the Internet to established nonprofit groups. They also suggest that those providing advice online be located and researched off-line as well.

And just because a Web site features a link to OPTS or Resolve, the National Infertility Association, doesn't mean that those organizations recommend it, warns Mrs. Zager.

Ron's Angels featured a direct link to OPTS, she says, and it took the threat of legal action to get the link removed.

Staff Writer Doug Bedell can be contacted by writing dbedell@dallasnews.com.